I'm not sure why really but i think it could be mostly down to hormones but eh, I'm so worried for no apparent reason really, that i'm going to lose you. And i'm not sure how or in what way i think i will but i can't bare the thought. That is something i never even want to think about but i can't seem to push it out of my head today. I spose i've missed you a tonne over the past few days if i'm honest. Walking about the places we go, coming home and half expecting you to be there to cuddle up with. I really hate it when i get like this because all i want is to chill out about it and just go with the flow. I know theres no way of knowing whats going to happen.

This mght not make sense but i've always felt like i'm not really 'built' to fit with people for very long. Maybe this will come off in very much a self pitying way but you know me well enough by now to know that or atleast believe that i'm really being genuinly honest. You fit me so well, you're the perfect compliment to my insecurities and you don't take any of my shit. You're gentle and i really get the feeling that any time i get jealous it's my bad or it's going to be my bad because you have a good heart, you are loyal. Oh the puns.  

All i can do is pray that you feel the same, and hey if you don't then i can always say i gave it my best shot. That is all you'll ever have from me is my best shot because you don't deserve anything that isn't in at the deep end, i'm fucking crazy about you, i'll fight for you even when it's a bit hopless. I will love you like this regardless of if you love me and i suppose that is either brave or stupid. If i angle for either because they are probably the same thing really but i don't care you've always been worth the chance. It's taken me a while to be able to spit all this out.

 Every moment i've spent with you since you where at the commie games, meeting your family and spending time listening to what makes you tick, makes me love that piece of you. Now i love you more than i know what to do with and i want to phone you right now to tell you all this but i don't want you to forget the words. If there is ever a time when you need to remember them, then they are right here for you.